Gambling Took Over My Life
Gambling Has Taken Over My Life

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Coping with Dad's addiction. Hi everybody, A few months ago i found out that my dad is a gambling addict and has been for the last 6 years. He rang me up out of the blue admitting it to me and crying and saying how he is sorry how he hasnt been there for me and my younger brother. Has gambling affected personal life negatively? Has gambling ever affected wellbeing or that of dependents? Has one’s reputation been damaged as a result of gambling? Has one ever been tempted to steal or do something illegal to finance gambling? Has one ever borrowed money to gamble? Has one ever felt like gambling is a good way to celebrate. Take my most recent experiences of a gig, which consisted almost exclusively of watching the band refracted through the tiny screens of a thousand smartphones held aloft. However, Gambling addiction which I developed from about 19 has destroyed everything in my life and I’m now 31. It has destroyed my personality, my relationships, my hope for the future and of course my finances. I could literally write an essay on gambling and how it has destroyed my life. I now find myself with no hope and in despair.

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Gambling Took Over My Life

Hello, I’m Adam. I’ve just signed up to this site after advice from Katie on the live chat. I’ve been gambling since I was probably 13/14. Slot machines are my thing. I would go to the arcade at dinner time when I went to school, or into town on the weekends to spend all my pocket money.
I guess I graduated to more serious money when I left school and got a job in a pub glass collecting. I’d be happy to lose 20, 30 quid on the bandit even if that was a big percentage of my wages. As I got older I was promoted to the bar and eventually assistant steward. As the position went up, the wages went up, the gambling went up. The inclusion of a £1 a spin machine at work proved too tempting and I was regularly losing hundreds.
More recently I’d signed up to Betfred to try my hand at gambling away from work. Once again, video slots were my thing. Started easy with £2 a spin, but it gradually grew and grew. £10 a spin, £20, £40. Soon I was losing £100 with every spin of the reels. I recently lost £11,000 from a£17,000 life savings account. I was destroyed. So imagine my delight when I managed to win and build it back up to £20,000. That should of been the end of it. But for the fact I’m here, we all know it wasn’t. I lasted roughly 1 week before I was gambling again. £100 a spin. I lost £11,500 over a week or so. I lost the final £8,500 in around 20 minutes yesterday.
I’m absolutely mortified to say the least. I’ve no idea where to go from here. That money was supposed to go towards a new house next year. This is where my problems lie. I can’t bare the thought of telling my parents who have basically wiped my arse for 30 years. It’s all going to come out eventually when I try to get a mortgage and they check my financial history. Further still, my girlfriend who has always struggled financially, will never understand. She’s thousands in debt herself, so she’ll never be able to come to terms with me losing £8,000 in 20 minutes. I just can’t face them. I’m basically eyeing up as much stuff in my possession that I have to sell. Try and claw some of it back. If I saved £200 of my wages every week, I’ll get it back in about 100 weeks. That’s just never going to happen.
I think I’m going to have to settle into this depression…
Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties youre currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if youre new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. Were in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like youre not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
And on that note….
Im going to hand you over to our community because Im sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!
Hey Adam, thanks for sharing and welcome to the forum. I was never able to hold onto the money I had available neither. I could never leave a loser. I would either be up for the session and quit or gamble, stepping up if necessary, to the bitter end.
I was well aware of this and I made a good portion of my money unavailable / not easily accessible to me. It was in an account in a different country where it would take 2 or 3 days for it to clear into my current account and only then I could use it for gambling. In addition to that the amount I was able to transfer on any single day was limited.
So whenever I was steaming out of my ears (which was often) I could only lose the money I had available and never the money that was put aside. By the time I transferred the money back to my current account and it cleared I wouldn’t be steaming so badly. Also, whenever I won anything meaningful I would wire it to the account I didn’t have an easy access to.
Anyway that money you had is gone and you can’t have it back. It is no longer yours. What you can do is make sure you don’t lose more. Actually you can make sure you never lose another penny. Easier said than done, I know. I’ve been fighting my demons for decades and I gambled as recently as yesterday. Go figure.
I would recommend that you read “the easy way to stop gambling” by allen carr. It is quite a good book.
Out of curiosity, you mentioned in your post that you’re waiting for a bonus / cashback money from BetFred and if you got it you weren’t sure whether you would gamble with it or cash it out. Were you serious? Did you honestly think there was a slightest chance you would not gamble with it? I’m not trying to rub it in or anything, I just think it’s highly unlikely you honestly thought you would not gamble the money readily available in your betting account. Not to mention the fact that you probably can’t cash out bonus money till you meet their betting requirements (i. e. betting 8x the bonus amount).
Good luck. And make sure you come here often and post often. you will find it helpfull I’m sure.
Adam, I feel for your story. It is so similar to mine and I guess many others. It is the worst feeling in the world. Over 3 years of gambling (poke), quitting, relapsing, losing etc etc I have lost my life savings but more importantly my self respect. Now my busienss is in trouble, my marriage is over and I have to rebuild. I read so many blogs by ex gambler and they all say the same things. Take one day at a time and be kind to yourself. We all make mistakes, god knows I have. Over the last few weeks I have been deep in remorse for so many things, but that is gettng me nowhere. No one’s life is perfect, far from it, and we all —- up. I am trying now to move on, be kind to myself and rebuild what I have lost. My life will never be the same again, but hopefully now it will be better and so will yours.
Keep posting whenever you need – don’t keep thoughts in your head, it is much better to get them out. The great thing about this site is that you can then see what you wrote and where you were at a certain time.
All my love to you and yours.
Adam, I feel for your story. It is so similar to mine and I guess many others. It is the worst feeling in the world. Over 3 years of gambling (poke), quitting, relapsing, losing etc etc I have lost my life savings but more importantly my self respect. Now my busienss is in trouble, my marriage is over and I have to rebuild. I read so many blogs by ex gambler and they all say the same things. Take one day at a time and be kind to yourself. We all make mistakes, god knows I have. O

Gambling Has Taken Over My Life